Review, extract and giveaway: Single Woman seeks Revenge by Tracy Bloom

Now as well as my review today, I have a very exciting extract for you lovely readers. I have some of the letters that our heroine receives as part of her job in the book so scroll down past my review to read those. This beauty came out in paperback last week so I'm giving you the two alternative covers. The former ebook cover and the new paperback cover as well you lucky things! 

Luckier still, if you leave me a comment detailing the best piece of relationship advice you ever got you'll be in with a Chance of winning yourself a copy of this hilarious novel! 

Here's the blurb, remember to scroll to the end for the letters...

What do you do when you find your love-life in ruins? Get revenge on every man who ever broke your heart of course....

Suzie Miller, a disillusioned agony aunt, can't believe she's been dumped from a great height yet again (this time by text, straight after they've had sex... twice!). So she decides the time is right to make every one of her exes feel the pain she felt when they carelessly cast her aside. 

Her methods are unusual but humiliation on a grand scale is no less than they deserve.

Euphoric that she's finally stood up for herself she starts suggesting outrageous ways for her readers to deal with their relationship nightmares too. Suddenly everyone wants Suzie's advice. Finally content with being single and enjoying her blossoming career it seems as though happiness is within her grasp. That is until a man gets in the way.

SINGLE WOMAN SEEKS REVENGE is a romantic comedy with a kick: a kick up the backside to any man who believes he got away with treating a woman badly and to any woman who doesn't fight back.

  

Review: this book will have you laughing right from the word go! I loved Tracy's first book, no one ever has sex on a Tuesday and so I could pretty much guarantee I was going to like this book too. I was surprised by how different this book was from her other two novels. it was funny and light-hearted just like the others but this has a very real message about girl power and about feminism not just about women being man haters or feminists being bitter spinsters but about this main character standing up for herself and not being controlled by anyone except herself. 

Alongside this fabulous feminist vein runs a gorgeous little love story interspersed with some proper-laugh out loud hilarity! Suzie is an amazing character. She might not know everything about the world but she has just worked out how to get everything she wants. Some of her methods for getting revenge on the men who have wronged her are seriously wickedly evil but at the same time, she knows to be there for her friends and she still wants a man who will love her and respect her in the right way. I could really identify with Suzie as I'm sure a lot of readers will be able to. 

There are some very funny supporting characters in this novel. I love Suzie's best friend and Drew's dead pan humour is sure to make you fall in love with him just a little bit. The writing style and the style of humour in this novel reminds me in Milly Johnson's writing, I could almost hear her reading this out loud in her fab Yorkshire accent! I loved the fact that this wasn't set in London as well, its always refreshing to have a novel set elsewhere in the UK!

Overall this novel was a fairly quick read, I actually listened to it on audio book which was really superb. I'm sure if you're looking for a love story you'll find it here but if you're look for a book that is laugh a minute, you'll also find it here. This is full of girl power and interesting thoughts on life as well so definitely something for everyone here!

Dear Suzie,

I am sixteen years old and my boyfriend wants to have sex with me two weeks on Friday. We are going to a house party and there won’t be any parents there, so all the boys have shared out thirty-minute time slots for sole use of one of the bedrooms. My boyfriend wants to know if I’ll have sex with him, because if I won’t he says he’ll ask somebody else as he doesn’t want to waste his time slot. I want my first time to be perfect and I am worried that half an hour won’t be long enough. Should I ask him to book two time slots?

Please help me.

Sophie

Dear Sophie,

If it takes longer than half an hour please send me your boyfriend’s number! I’m just joking. Seriously, I have some very important advice for you.

DON’T HAVE SEX, YOU WON’T ENJOY IT.

Having sex with a sixteen-year-old boy can never be good. Remember, he won’t have done it very often, if at all. Consider this. Would you get in a car with him the first time he has to drive? No. He’ d be all fingers and thumbs, stops and starts, no idea what knobs and buttons to press, all of which would add up to an extremely uncomfortable ride. And an extremely uncomfortable ride is all you can expect if you have sex with him.

Now let’s get to the real problem – the sharing of time slots and his threat of asking someone else. Wake up, Sophie. This is unacceptable behaviour and you are letting these boys take advantage of you. Tell him you will have sex with him and he should book two time slots because you are convinced he is going to be mind-blowing in the sack. When you get him in the room, tell him you have been lusting after his body for ages and you want to see him naked immediately. When he has stripped off, laugh hysterically and run out of the room to the kitchen where you will have a pre-prepared chart at the ready for all of you girls to mark just how small your boyfriends’ penises are.

Good luck.

Suzie

Dear Suzie,

I met my soulmate in a bar a few weeks ago. It felt like we were made for each other. We liked all the same things, even rum and raisin ice cream – and I’ve never met anyone who likes rum and raisin ice cream. We talked all night, until eventually my mates got fed up of me looking googly-eyed at Peter (he has the same name as my first pet rabbit!) so they left me to it. I ended up going home with him and he was the perfect gentleman, even offering to make up the spare bed. But it felt so right that I ended up sleeping with him. Afterwards we both said that we had never felt like this before about anyone. The next day he had to work so I left early. He took my number and promised to call but that was three weeks ago. I’ve been to the bar that we met in nine times but he’s never there. I’ve driven past his house every night on my way home from work but he’s never in. I have even been to his local supermarket and loitered in the ice-cream section, but still no sign. Now I think something bad must have happened to him. Do you think I should call the police?

Desperately Worried of Didsbury

Dear Dim of Didsbury,

To coin a phrase, ‘He’s just not that into you.’ Nothing bad has happened to him, he just never wants to see you again.

Now the crucial thing here is how you deal with this. No tears and no feeling sorry for yourself. Most importantly what you must NOT do is walk away quietly. An entire book was devoted to giving this advice, and guess what? It was written by a man. How convenient and how devious to make women think that this route would actually give them the upper hand. What rubbish. The thing to do is make the biggest fuss possible to ensure he thinks twice before he does it again to another woman.

You are going to post a note through Peter’s letter box telling him you need to meet him secretly later that night because your boyfriend has found out that you slept together and you are very concerned for his safety.

When you meet you should tell him your boyfriend is a bouncer and you are engaged to be married. One of his bouncer mates saw you leaving the bar together and snitched on you. He has pulled a photo off the closed-circuit television which has been circulated to all the bouncers in Manchester, and there’s a reward on Peter’s – preferably very bruised – head. Suggest he doesn’t go out at all for at least three months, when maybe it will have died down. Finally, apologise for using him just for sex and wish him luck in finding a nice girl.

Let me know how you get on.

Suzie

Dear Suzie,

I am twenty-eight years old and I recently got in touch with my first ever boyfriend Michael, via Facebook. After emailing each other a few times we got together and it was just like old times. We got on so well and this time I even got to have sex with him. He said he didn’t want to be in a relationship because he’d just had his fingers burnt by his ex-girlfriend, but he thought he could manage on a ‘friends with benefits’ basis. This has been going fine for the last few months, but now he’s started asking me if I’m still in touch with any of the really pretty girls from school and if I’ ll bring them along next time we meet. I don’t want to because then we won’t be able to have sex. I don’t think he realises this. Do you think I should point it out to him or would that be too forward?

Yours sincerely,

Lisa

Dear Lisa,

Please don’t get me started on the whole ‘ friends with benefits’ thing. You may as well hang a sign around your neck saying ‘FREE SEX – NO QUESTIONS ASKED’. Also the fact that you assume he’s a friend just kills me. That’s not called a friend, it’s called a client. Get real, Lisa, he’s taking advantage of you and it’s time to turn the tables. Tell him that you are still in touch with the most gorgeous person from school and that they are absolutely dying to see him again. Say you should all meet at his house because this person likes your ‘ friends with benefits’ status and is interested in a threesome. Arrive early and tell him that you think you should turn the heating up and strip down to your underwear to set the right mood. When he has stripped down to his boxers and five minutes after your guest is due to arrive, get out your phone and check for messages. Tell Michael that Gary is two minutes away and he’s absolutely gagging for it. Tell him he’s a great friend of yours and has got one very, very big benefit.

Have fun.

Suzie